I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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