he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
