so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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