I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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