I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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