Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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