Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
