you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I lost the right to judge tonight
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
