Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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