I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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