Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
