she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
