Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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