Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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