More tranny stories later!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
