So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
