did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sorry about my life...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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