is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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