fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
