billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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