omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
