Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
