i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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