I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
