Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
