I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
