I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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