Umm I'm too high to move.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
