I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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