Swine flu. Run for my life!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
