This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
