Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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