Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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