just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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