we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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