Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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