I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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