respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
