Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
