yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
