why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
