I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my poor anus
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
