I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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