just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
im holly from the hills drunk
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
