i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
