I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
