Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
