I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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