someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
