so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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