It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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