Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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