I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
