Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
tell me about the fingering
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize