I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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