sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
