: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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